It isn't the happy ending Ingrid and I had dreamed up, but it's all a part of what I'm working through. The way life changes. The way people and things disappear. Then appear, unexpectedly, and hold you close.

I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend.

There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.

You might be looking for reasons but there are no reasons.

It was the moment I realized what music can do to people, how it can make you hurt and feel so good all at once.

How it's so easy for her to not feel anything at all, to be just completely gone, to not be around to see how fucked up she's made me. She got to disappear completely and I feel like I'm about to combust.

This is what I want so don't be sad.

It's the opposite of the collapse of the fantasy.It's what happens when the illusion pales in comparison to the truth. I'm seeing her for the first time. Not Ava Garden Wilder, the rags-to-riches granddaughter of Clyde Jones. Not a tragic, romantic heroine. Just Ava.And I am utterly in love.

He wipes tears off my face and then snot. He uses his hands. He loves me that much.