My dog’s Facebook status: Tried to save the master from the vacuum cleaner today… He just yelled at me.

Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.

You don't have to announce on Facebook when you're taking a Facebook break. There's nobody you need to apply for leave to, and nobody really cares that much for you.

If you love something let it go but make sure one of your close friends is still friends with it on Facebook so you can stalk it.

If you get a crush on a girl on Facebook you should quickly get over it by adding him on Whatsapp.