God: you’re man’s best friend.Dog: ok.God: and women’s best friend.Dog: yay.God: and children’s best friend.Dog: aww.God: and...and my best friend?Dog: [puts paw on God’s knee] always.God: I’m gonna miss you.Dog: I’ll be back when they don’t need me anymore.

The most confused kids are those who pray to God before their science exam.

In the darkness of despair, let this light of wisdom shine,What He gave was always His, so what I lost was never mine.

The only time a Girl asked me for a coffee was when she mistook me for a waiter.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining...

As long as your name is not God, I CAN live without you...

If God had a god, he would have understood how it feels when prayers are not answered.