21 Quotes by Orson Scott Card about Humor
- Author Orson Scott Card
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As the doctor treated the wound, Mazer said, " I don't care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won't get you out of this school.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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You're a monster.Thanks. Does this mean I get a raise?No, just a medal. The budget isn't inexhaustable.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?""I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?""Yes," she said."That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't you.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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When you have faith in something a lot of other people believe then you a member of the church" said Ceas, "When you have faith in something nobody believes, then you a complete wacko
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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Miro, I'm so sorry. I always felt such pity for you humans because you could only think of one thing at a time and your memories were so imperfect and . . . now I realize that just getting through the day without killing somebody can be an achievement."It gets to be a habit. Most of us manage to keep our body count quite low. It's the neighborly way to live.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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You frighten me, when you say there isn't time.""I don't see why. Christians have been expecting the imminent end of the world for millennia.""But it keeps not ending.""So far, so good.
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- Author Orson Scott Card
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You were the one who threatened us with an Inquisitor," the Bishop reminded him. With a smile.The Speaker's smile was just as chilly. "And you're the one who told the people I was Satan and they shouldn't talk to me.
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