Americans appreciate bad taste or America wouldn’t look the way America does.

The American political system is like fast food--mushy, insipid, made out of disgusting parts of things...and everybody wants some.

Public schools helped create the idea of America and inculcate Americans with a few rudiments of knowledge. To judge by that very American item, the Internet, a few rudiments is all anyone cares to have.

So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else available. Western civilization not only provides a bit of life, a pinch of liberty and the occasional pursuance of happiness, it's also the only thing that's ever tried to. Our civilization is the first in history to show even the slightest concern for average, undistinguished, none-too-commendable people like us.

Liberals want to live downtown. All over America - in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - there are crowds of liberals living in the gritty, ugly, dirty neighborhoods sensible people are trying to flee.

China is trying to become America without democracy while America is trying to become France without cheese calories.

Democrats hate America being a world power because world power gives power to the nation instead of to Democrats.

The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race.

The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average.