Every morning he would go to sleep telling himself that he had had enough, that there would be no more of it, and every afternoon he would wake up with the same desire, the same irresistible urge to crawl back into the car. He wanted that solitude again, that nightlong rush through the emptiness, that rumbling of the road along his skin.

إنه دائم الغياب منذ ما قبل رحيله فقد اعتاد القريبون منه على تقبل عزلته و اختفاءه عنهم منذ وقت بعيد وعلى اعتبار ذاك الغياب خصيصة جوهرية لوجوده ، لهذا وقد رحل الآن لن يكون صعبا على العالم استيعاب حقيقة غيابه الأبدي. لقد قامت طبيعة حياته بتهيئة العالم لموته فقد كانت نوعا من الموت الاستباقي ، و إذا ما جاء أحد على ذكره فسيتم ذلك بصورة باهتة وبصوت خافت لا أكثر

بمكوثه في الغرفة لفترات طويلة من الزمن ومتصلة يقوم بشحن فراغ الغرفة بالأفكار ، لهذا يتسبب خروجه من الغرفة في تبديد الحميمية التي يحاول نسجها ، أو يجعلها غير ملموسة على الأقل. يجر أفكاره معه متى ما خرج وأثناء فترة الغياب تلك تقوم الغرفة بتفريغ نفسها ومحو كل جهوده لسكناها وجعلها مأهولة ، عليه أن يبدأ كل شئ من جديد عندما يعود ، وهذا يتطلب جهدا مضنيا وعملا روحيا ضخما

who seeks solitude seeks silence; who does not speak is alone; is alone, even unto death

Impossible, I realize, to enter another’s solitude. If it is true that we can ever come to know another human being, even to a small degree, it is only to the extent that he is willing to make himself known.

For it is only in the darkness of solitude that the work of memory begins.

Whenever his eye or mind seems to stop, he discovers another connection, another bridge to carry him to yet another place, and even in the solitude of his room, the world has been rushing in on him at a dizzying speed, as if it were all suddenly converging in him and happening to hm at once.

If people never learned the truth about him, then they couldn't turn around and use it against him. The lie was a way of buying protection.

For a man who finds life tolerable only by staying on the surface of himself, it is natural to be satisfied with offering no more than his surface to others.