Guys are like dogs. You wish you could take them all home when they're young. But after they've howled all night and slobbered all over everything, you come to realize the ones already trained are much easier to live with.

The only difference between a prayer and a curse is the one who stands to profit.

Some women barter their bodies like whores with wedding bands. Some use sex like a sword. But some women can touch a man and heal like Jesus.

Amnesty International should list all daughters as prisoners of war.

Mom isn't content taking a stroll down memory lane. She's bought a condo and spends half the year there.

Mom recognizes only two sources of wisdom -- the bible and Hallmark.