I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.

You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.

Manners are love in a cool climate.