I don’t know how to be any version of me, much less a new and improved me.

When I start something, I can never finish it. I just can’t dedicate myself to wanting or doing a thing for an extended period of time like that. I get started doing and before I reach the halfway mark, I’m wanting something else. But, really, it’s not me, it’s everything moving around me, changing and wreaking havoc on my wants. I decided it's easier to stop starting things because it’s impossible to keep up with the world, the way it constantly throws new stuff at you.

That’s the cool thing about the past,” Bronwyn says, “It’s temporary. If you don’t like the one you have, you can just keep making new ones until you find one that’s a good fit.

Her metamorphosis, once complete, would let her belong. Her superficial cocoon. An escape route from awkward. A life boat to acceptance.

We knew it was only a moment. Our days of cool were numbered. Even when we were in it, right now was already gone.We didn’t know what it would be. Maybe a man. A baby. A death. What we knew was that soon, we’d pass thirty and get wrapped up in dull, adult things with no time or energy leftover to work at being cool.Just like that. Whoosh. Zoom. It’s over, and we’re here. From past to present.

August is that last flicker of fun and heat before everything fades and dies. The final moments of fun before the freeze. In the winter, everything changes.

That’s the problem with things dying. They’re stuck being dead forever while everything else evolves and makes new stories.