We all deceive ourselves constantly. Some do not want to confront their own reality and some cannot bear to confront the reality of their loved ones. We don’t want to know their secrets because the truth is painful.

What men don’t realise is that you must tell your woman she is beautiful. She only wants to hear it from you, not from the rest of the world. Their words mean nothing to her. Your words pierce her heart. That’s how you won her and that’s how you will lose her.

It would drive him mad the minute I would be quiet, or had a disappointed expression on my face. “Baby, why do you stop smiling?” he would enquire. I would reply, “Imran, has it ever occurred to you to do something to put a smile on my face? There is deprivation and misery. You promised to bring change and you are doing nothing about it”.

The fact is that it’s not what you achieve or what you possess, but how loved you have been as a child that determines how confident you are

I could not smile, but then I was not allowed not to anyway. My husband would say that he loved my smile and wanted it on-demand, but my husband never did anything to put a smile on my face. I was never allowed to do anything but smile by those who professed to love me.

The odd thing was that the man who was desperate to not lose me never tried to keep me happy. The man who lived in perpetual fear that I would leave him left me alone for months in another country. In the end, it was not another man who whisked me away, but the realisation that I did not want my son to become the man his father was.

I had told Imran how my father after his Fajr prayers would always bring fragrant motiya flowers for my mum and put them on her bedside. Imran listened, and as I would step out of the bathroom in the morning, I would be greeted by hand-picked roses and fragrant magnolias on my bedside and my pillow, laid out by Imran. It brought tears to my eyes. Even now, it brings a smile to my face, despite all that followed. He made me love him when I thought it wasn’t possible for me to love anymore.

A small man who is scared of the big bad world needs to feel he is big and powerful at home. Conversely, strong men can afford to whisper gently and smile at the women they love.

My father always addressed my mother as ‘’Darling’’, which was surprising for my brother’s wife. Even more shocking was the fact that he would greet his wife with a kiss when returning from a trip. This was also rather unusual in Pakistani culture, where affection towards spouses is restrained and frowned upon.