If a fleet of jet-black CHOPPERS ain't cresting over a back-lit hill by the end of Act II, you've got to start asking yourself whether this is a movie or a fucking art installation.

Remember the start of 2001: A Space Odyssey? Bunch of monkeys collecting bones. What‘s that got to do with space? They don‘t even have lasers!Cut that shit. And what about Citizen Kane? If they‘d wanted to gross some dollar, they should‘ve called it Dude, Where‘s My Sled?

There's a line in David Lean's punishingly long 1962 desert flick, Lawrence of Arabia: 'Truly for some men nothing is written unless they write it.'Duh.

Is there any moment in time when you‘re doing something better than watching Predator/i>?

Is there any moment in time when you‘re doing something better than watching Predator?

I'm pretty bad at seeing new films.