When considering female human beings, we should ask ourselves what kind of organisms become overjoyed when presented with decapitated plants as gifts? I suppose we should consider ourselves fortunate they do not become overjoyed when presented with decapitated animals as gifts.

Waves are like women, you can never get enough of them, always want a better, more dangerous one, and occasionally you get dumped.

Women are like a living, breathing casinoLike a judge and juryThey sense everythingThey sense what you try to hideThey sense your weaknessesThey sense your power levelsOne must be patientOne must listenWatchAnd waitBefore one strikes

When you really want a woman to leave, she will usually take at least an extra twenty minutes.

Women are a weird subspecies. But it must be hard walking around with a big fleshy slit in your body that keeps saying fuck me!

Women are like bars of soap. After a while they lose their freshness, become worn and a bit hairy.