So, Shannon,” she said as she put on her seat belt. “Tell me all about yourself.” I hated to hear that question. Just once, I wished I had the girlballs to say, I work for the federal government in a department that I cannot disclose, but I can tell you that I’m trained to kill using nothing more than a toothpick. So when you say you’ll call, you damn well better do it...

So…just to be totally clear, you are a lesbian, right?” Lydia met Harper’s gaze. “I am, and I’m damn proud of it.” “That’s pretty cool.” “Glad you think so,” Lydia said with a smirk. “I’d hate to get another detention for painting you and this ugly-ass badger.

...Bryan pumped his fist. “Stakeout! Will I be in plain clothes?” “Wear whatever you want as long as it’s dark,” Kirsten answered with a smile. “Permission to get snacks for my stakeout, ma’am!” Bryan said loudly as he sprung to attention.

I've taken my love life into my own hands . . . please don't read too much into that statement.

Aw,” Dana said when they’d put some distance between them and Evan. “He loves you.”“Dana, that’s what boys say when they don’t really know you but want to have sex with you. He’s lucky I didn’t go back and punch him in the mouth.

I may become weak and start listening to what my body has to say more than my brain. So I elect you the responsible one.""I've been crazy about you since we met. You've elected Bill Clinton president of the chastity club.

Grandma told me not to 'squirrel' you...She and Anne saw two squirrels doing the deed, then the male squirrel ran off when it was over. I'm slightly offended she compared me to a hit-and-run rodent. I just want you to know that I want to share my branch and acorns with you, it's not just physical.

[O]ut of the blue Sophie asked, "Aunt Faith, what's a vibrator?"Faith was in mid-swallow and choked on her coffee. ..."Baby, where'd you hear that?"..."My momma was on the phone with her friend Ms. Kim last night, and she said that Lottie Bishop kicked her in the crouch so many times that she didn't know if she'd ever be able to take her vibrator for a test spin again.

Were you backing it up on the fridge?” [Jet]“I was…uh…was…removing smudges with my butt. Did you forget something?” [Shawna]“My laptop. I have a paper due Monday for English. I’ll just go get that now,” Jet said, still looking disconcerted as she left the room.“I saw a smudge, and I rubbed my butt on it. That’s perfectly normal,” Shawna called after her.