"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."

"When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party!"

"I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public."

"People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic."