Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.