But be grateful that your dad left you with two people who loved you both, who provided you with an amazing childhood” She reaches out for my hand and I let her take it in hers “For whatever reason he had, he still made sure you were safe and taken care of, it could have been worse Ry. You could have been left with someone who hated your very existence.

I was never good enough for my mum and she never let me forget it" I whisper out just as we make it to the entrance of their building "Ryan doesn't speak the words, but sometimes he makes me feel that way.

What day is it today?” I wait. “The day the Lawson boys found out who I really am.

Every time I pulled her back in only to disappoint her, I had unintentionally been solidifying what her mum had been telling her all these years. That she wasn’t enough, she wasn’t enough for me to take a chance on her or on us. I’d realised all too late that I was a coward, while she was petrified of never being enough for someone; she kept offering me a chance to prove her worries wrong. She was the strong one here.

Whether you say something out loud or you just feel it, it’s going to hurt just as much

My mum always said the three most important letters in my name were the EDN, because if you rearranged them it spelled ‘END' and I was the end of anything good in her life.Ryan says the letters rearranged in my name are NEED and he will always need me to be the best version of himself he can be.I think I like Ryan’s version better.