Real me only leaks out when the rote-learning system I have devised has insufficient data to maintain the facade. Real me is also allowed out in times of complete comfort and acceptance (it takes a rare soul to love and accept without judgement...)

...it is often reported that women with autism are more likely to internalise the anxiety and stress they feel around change, not wanting to draw attention to their inability to cope with the situation. This leads other people to believe they are coping, when in fact they are not. Repression of emotions and the effort involved in hiding them from others can cause long-term mental health problems, and eventually the facade crashes as the curtailed stress has to come out.

All the qualifications in the world dont mean a thing if you can't hold a conversation.

Mental health conditions are the outcome of this refusal to admit limitations. Admission of limitations equates to failure for many women with autism. Admitting vulnerability and asking for concessions or help is hard after a lifetime of masking.

If a friend asks what I think about her new handbag, I find myself unable to speak; despite trawling through my brain for something, anything, to say, I cannot muster a single word as I have absolutely no opinion on handbags beyond it's a bag, it carries stuff.

I don't have the ability to process my feelings and articulate them; I just feel a whirl of emotions and physical sensations: dizziness, nausea, tight chest and overwhelming emotional pain...

Girls and women with autism: You're fine exactly as you are. Yes, you're a bit weird, but that's perfectly alright. You might not feel much like a 'woman', but that's ok too - most of us don't. And you're totally right about handbags. You only need one, and that's a rucksack.