Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow.