The two top teams with nice weather and nice people were Dallas and Miami. Of course, the Lakers wouldn't want to trade me in the same conference, so Miami was perfect.

I'm the master marketer.

I'm the LCL - the Last Center Left. I've been doing the same things for 13 years, but now they're flopping and falling, and the refs are falling for it, too.

I think it was 89.2% cheers and 11.8% boos, but I'm used to that.

My first movie. I think I won an Oscar for this.

I'm the last in the line of Russells and Chamberlains.

They won't talk to you because I'm undercover.

I'm not really worried about my numbers now as a 36-year-old. I'm not trying to be the first, experimental case of a 36-year-older trying to maintain his numbers, especially when I'm on a team like this. Can I do the same stuff I could do when I was Amare's age? Of course not. I'm not going to even try. However, I feel that I'm the baddest 36-year-old out there.

I was kind of hoping it was Anna Kournikova.