I know this clown," Grim said in an evil tone. "He keeps teasing me with these near death experiences. One day, I'm going to take his butt down even when I'm not supposed to. You can't keep knocking on my door and then slamming it in my face. It's just not right.

Milord, Knight in Shining Armor, methinks thou hast a present in thy chamber.

Ash paused as he entered the house to find the three women lined up and... singing to... dear gods, anything but this."Fergilicious."All he needed was for Simi to be here and off-key with them since it was her favorite song and he'd spent the better part of the last year cursing whoever was dumb enough to introduce that song to a hormonal teenaged demon. Worst part? Simi wanted him to call her Similicious.

Nick: How? Are you a vampire or something? What made you immortal?Acheron: Real good DNA.

Tell my father I was abducted by a lucius nymph and pulled to her lair." Styxx"For the record, I resent being called a lucius nymph." Galen

He was an Atlantean...older than dirt and dirt's great-grandfather.

I don't do vague. If I want to call you a coward, I will bock at you in no uncertain terms.

Acheron: You're really not right, are you?Nick: Yeah. I know. It was all the paint chips I ate as a kid. They were good, but chromosomally damaging

The only vampires I've ever seen are the Goths trying to get a glimpse of Anne Rice's house, who drink strawberry sodas and tell each other it's blood.