My own study of the networked life has left me thinking about intimacy - about being with people in person, hearing their voices and seeing their faces, trying to know their hearts. And it has left me thinking about solitude-the kind that refreshes and restores. Loneliness is failed solitude. To experience solitude you must be able to summon yourself by yourself; otherwise you will only know how to be lonely

In his history of solitude, Anthony Storr writes about the importance of being able to feel at peace in one's own company. But many find that, trained by the Net, they cannot find solitude even at a lake or beach or on a hike. Stillness makes them anxious. I see the beginnings of a backlash as some young people become disillusioned with social media. There is,. too, the renewed interest in yoga, Eastern religions, meditating, and "slowness.

This is a new nonnegotiable: to feel safe, you have to be connected.

Eric Erikson writes that in their search for identity, adolescents need a place of stillness, a place to gather themselves.

Increasingly, people feel as though they must have a reason for taking time alone, a reason not to be available.

Overstimulated, we seek out constrained worlds.

Who says that we always have to be ready to communicate?