Some part of me knew from the first that what I wanted was not reality but myth.

When an imaginative person gets into mental trouble, the line between seeming and being has a way of disappearing-

Sometimes human places, create inhuman monsters.― Stephen King, The Shining

It's a wholly illogical but nonetheless powerful belief that things will change for the better in a new place; that the urge to self-destruct will magically disappear.

I deal in lead! Roland called, and Eddie felt goose-bumps pebble his arms.