The thing that most shocked me about astronomy in the Ivy League was how run down and poorly functioning their telescopes were.

I am the test pilot of High Altitude Observatory Disease (HAOD).

Blatantly ignore me and we will have a problem.

I am pioneering the medical diagnosis of Magee’s Disease.

While astronomers have been studying Mercury, I have been living with mercury.

Biological science clearly states that it is impossible to make the summit of Mauna Kea safe for the sea level adapted workers. As such, the Mauna Kea Observatories should be demolished as soon as possible to protect the health and safety of the unsuspecting workers.

Since 1996 the W. M. Keck Observatory has been observing what happens to workers that spend their time in and around two massive Faraday cages.

I can assure you that after developing workplace mercury poisoning, the astronomy management team will not renew your contract.

During my time in high altitude astronomy, I was never informed that I was working in an abnormal radiation environment for the sea level adapted human.