Use questions to find out where people are, where they want to be, and how you can help them cross the great divide. When I was in real estate, there were times when brand new clients would get into my car for a day of touring and house hunting. In many cases, I had never met them before. My first goal was to break the ice and build rapport as fast as possible so that our time together would be enjoyable, interactive, and successful for all of us.

People love to talk about themselves. When you provide them with an opening and a platform for them to do so, you will be amazed by how your conversations can blossom.

In sales, there is a questioning funnel for building rapport in which you start with broad questions and discreetly and respectfully move to the more specific. If you don’t honor this progression, you risk coming across as pushy. As you build rapport, you earn standing to get more personal.

What do you do? It’s amazing how people will qualify, quantify, judge, assess, and form complete opinions about you based on that one age-old question. It is a boring, uncreative default setting for attempting to engage a new person. Spice it up and try something new. Instead, ask "What do you do for fun?” Your creativity will make you more memorable and help you stand apart from the crowd.

Tell me about yourself” is one of the best icebreakers and conversation openers you can have. Learn to ask questions using this phrase as the guide. Let the other person do the talking and they will think you are the most delightful conversationalist they have ever met. When you make the effort to do this for others, they feel relevant and valued.

Leading the Witness. Know the difference! Using questions to manipulate, coerce, or lead people in directions which are not in their best interests connotes dishonesty, fraud, disrespect, and a lack of integrity.

Finding commonality with another person can help you create an instant bond by transcending social differences and going straight to creating rapport. Finding common ground allows you to connect the dots in the big picture to discover what feels most comfortable, how to connect, and where you might fit in when meeting new people.

When people are like you, conversations flow naturally and feel more relaxed, don’t they? You know what to say, how to talk, what to expect, and how to understand them on an intuitive level.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to enjoy this level of simplicity in all relationships, regardless of differences? You can. Begin taking the initiative to find common ground with others and you will soon lay solid foundations on which to build great first impressions.