So, how can you move beyond awkward silence with virtual strangers to becoming new friends? By asking great questions! Once a few inquiring questions were placed, I would let them do all the talking.

What gives you your sense of importance and makes you feel special? Who and what bring out the best in you? What does it take to make you feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world? When people make you feel important, doesn’t it elevate them in your eyes? Learn to do the same for others.

In sales, this tactic comes across as pushy, arrogant, and uncaring. It doesn’t have to be this way. Admittedly, it may take great restraint to resist the temptation to dominate a conversation, but when you do, you are rewarded with an appreciation for your interest and attentiveness. Simply by changing your approach and becoming a discovery expert, you will receive relevant answers for how to better connect and serve others.

In medicine, prescription before diagnosis is malpractice. Asking the right questions will help you discover a person’s needs and concerns so that you can respond intelligently and appropriately.Yet salespeople, consultants, or managers often try to push their solutions on you before they even know what your needs are. This is a fast way to alienate people and push you toward their competitor, isn’t it?

Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.

Push versus Pull Marketing. Who wants to be pushed around? I certainly don’t. Statements push and questions pull. Don’t you prefer the latter? Questions pique interest and can keep the dialogue flowing when your other alternatives aren’t as attractive or magnetic.

Use questions to find out where people are, where they want to be, and how you can help them cross the great divide. When I was in real estate, there were times when brand new clients would get into my car for a day of touring and house hunting. In many cases, I had never met them before. My first goal was to break the ice and build rapport as fast as possible so that our time together would be enjoyable, interactive, and successful for all of us.

People love to talk about themselves. When you provide them with an opening and a platform for them to do so, you will be amazed by how your conversations can blossom.

In sales, there is a questioning funnel for building rapport in which you start with broad questions and discreetly and respectfully move to the more specific. If you don’t honor this progression, you risk coming across as pushy. As you build rapport, you earn standing to get more personal.