No, no, not 'she,' he reminded himself. Cam lived as a boy, and though Merik wasn't used to that yet–to thinking of Cam as a 'he'–they had weeks of travel ahead, Plenty of time which Merik could retrain his mind.

Stop seeing what you want to see, Merik Nihar, and start seeing what's really here!

Is that what you think I am? All this time, and you still haven’t sorted it out? Why am I surprised? You didn’t notice me when we were on the Jana. You couldn’t even remember my name back then, so why should I expect you to understand—to see me for what I am now!

You think you’re so selfless, you think you’re working to save everyone, but what if you’re going about it all wrong? At least when I live as a boy, no one gets hurt. But you pretendin’ to be a martyr? Pretending to be the Fury? That hurts everyone.