Men are not raised to be intimate, they're raised to be competitive performers...

Traditional socialization teaches young boys to filter their sense of self-worth through performance.

The paradox for boys is that in order to be worthy of connection they must prove themselves invulnerable, button down warriors in the world's emotional market place.

In the world of boys and men you're either a winner or a loser, one up or one down in control or controlled, man enough or a girl.

Where in this set up is the capacity for love?

As women shut down their needs, they also shut down their sense of pleasure.

The paradox of real love is that our capacity to sustain intimacy rests on our capacity to tolerate aloneness inside the relationship.