The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

Words are the litmus paper of the mind.

I imagine that fish have no word for water.

I am death, not taxes. I turn up only once.

Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous.

And it came to pass that in time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: "Psst!

You can't find a hermit to teach you herming, because of course that rather spoils the whole thing.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease.