He sighed and moved his hands under water, linking with mine. “You are like a drug to me. Dangerous. Addicting. I can’t get enough of you.” He brought our hands above water and kissed one of my hands, linked with his. “But I want more, more than just a night, more than just a few touches. And I have a feeling that once we cross that line, you will run away.

That night I dreamt of the moment I found my mother’s body. My life was a series of befores and afters: before my mother’s death and after my mother’s death. Before I left the Monster and after I left the Monster. The first thing I remembered about my mother’s death was the minutes after. I’d always dreamt of it this way; remembering the after. It was during the after that I remembered the before.

This doesn’t have to be anything more than what we want, Andra. We don’t need to define this. You are warm, honest, beautiful, and full of wit. I appreciate how vibrant you are, and how you challenge me. I want to spend time with you simply because I enjoy being around you.” I heard his sigh. “I don’t want to suffocate you. No labels, no drama. Just fun. Maybe a kiss or two.”“Or three. Or four,” I added.

I was naked under his gaze. Skin was just that: skin. But to see your soul stripped, laid bare for the eyes of someone you barely knew-that was terrifying.

I so desperately wanted to be his gravity, to hold him on this earth and keep him from leaving me.

I'm not talking about the scars that separate your skin, Parker. I'm not blind, I can see those. I'm talking about the scars much deeper than that. The scars that exist within you. The ones you actually try to hide.

Words could bite. When I spoke to strangers, I wanted my words to have fangs.

I don't want to merely exist, Parker. I want to live. I want to leave the world with that one sweet moment.