Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

Thank God we don't get all the government we pay for.

If you eliminate the names of Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt, Jackson and Wilson, both conventions would get out three days earlier.

Conferences are just like the poor and the Democrats, they will always be with us.

How is the government going to get the extra taxes? Out of the rich, or just out of the poor, as usual?

Will somebody please tell me what they do with all the Vice-Presidents a bank has? Why the United States is the biggest business institution in the world, and they got only one Vice-President and nobody has ever found anything for him to do.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

The South is dry and will vote dry. That is, everybody that is sober enough to stagger to the polls will.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?