I make a living off (politicians), so I can't knock 'em. Every time we elect some fellow we think he's terrible and then when we get another one in he's worse. So, I am always in favor of keeping the one we've got and let the other go.

If everybody (traded his car for a horse) they would be out of debt in a couple of years. Just think, no gas, no tires, no roads to pay for.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely

Andrew Jackson was the first one to think up the idea to promise everybody that if they will vote for you, you will give them an office when you get it, and the more times they vote for you, the bigger the office.

Do anything in this world but monkey with somebody eles's religion. What reasoning of conceit makes anyone think theirs is right?

America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.

A senator got up today in Congress and called his fellow senators sons of wild jackasses. Now, if you think the senators were hot, imagine how the jackasses must feel.