"Democracy means that if the doorbell rings in the early hours, it is likely to be the milkman."

"When I get to heaven I mean to spend a considerable portion of my first million years in painting, and so get to the bottom of the subject."

"I do not understand this squeamishness about the use of gas. We have definitely adopted the position at the Peace Conference of arguing in favour of the retention of gas as a permanent method of warfare. It is sheer affectation to lacerate a man with the poisonous fragment of a bursting shell and to boggle at making his eyes water by means of lachrymatory gas."

"The stations of uncensored expression are closing down; the lights are going out; but there is still time for those to whom freedom and parliamentary government mean something, to consult together. Let me, then, speak in truth and earnestness while time remains."

"What does all this stuff about flying saucers amount to? What can it mean? What is the truth?"

"The jury system has come to stand for all we mean by English justice. The scrutiny of 12 honest jurors provides defendants and plaintiffs alike a safeguard from arbitrary perversion of the law."

"If you mean to profit, learn to please."