To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.