To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.