274 Quotes About Abuse-survivors

Never believe a man’s claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.

People may not realize the damage that they are doing by placing the blame on the victim ~ but that doesn't lessen the damage that they cause by doing it.

Being a victim is supposed to set you free; it acquits you of any agency, any sense of responsibility to the person who did you harm. It's not your fault, they say. Leave him, they say. Nobody ever tells you what to do if leaving isn't an option.They just call you stupid. A dumb bitch.Sympathy is only meted out if you follow all ofsociety's rules for how a victim is supposed to behave.

the gravity of wound to fist

Memory implies that there is some static time and place you can go back to, whereas if you relive it by trying to put yourself back in that context, its more nuanced, less black and white. More traumatic, but also more exciting. When I knew I had to write about things that would be painful, I put off doing it for ages. But then eventually the fear of not doing it becomes greater than the fear of doing it.

It is dangerous to use our own ability to access non-traumatic memories as a standard against which we judge a trauma victim’s response.

In order to believe clients' accounts of trauma, you need to suspend any pre-conceived notions that you have about what is possible and impossible in human experience. As simple as they may sound, it may be difficult to do so.

It is always a mistake to underestimate how long it takes for mankind to understand the traumas it has suffered, especially the self-inflicted ones.

We don't go back to wallow, we go back to undo the lies that are back there that are holding its captive from living a wondrous and full life.