2,116 Quotes About Baby

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, "Could I get you your check?" and we answered, "How about the menu first?"

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

No baby shall at any time be quartered in a house where there are no soft laps, no laughter, or no love.

Pulling heads off Barbies, sticking them on the TV antenna and ruining the reception. But thats how witch babies are.

Bringing a baby into the world is not like grilling enchiladas. It's a difficult thing.