58 Quotes About Booze

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

A fine young man and a fine young felly he always was, except that in the old days, before you began coming in here, Mr. Witherwax, he maybe had too much money and spent too much of it on girls. Take them alone, either one; the money without the women, or a good girl without the money that can be a help to a young felly, and he's fixed for life. But put them together; and often as not, the young felly goes on the booze. ("The Better Mousetrap")

Like alcohol and poverty, a heartbreak has the power to make a man do something he wouldn’t normally do and to make a woman do someone she wouldn’t normally do.

Dear god, it seems that I find it now easier to answer to the smell of booze and cheap women than good faith and common sense.

You wanna try booze, try it - you wanna try weed, try it – you wanna get laid, go get laid - just do it all and get it over with, so that you can pay attention to the real troubles of society.

I've always felt that distant train whistles heard in the dead of night are the universe's way of letting us know the best days are neither ahead nor behind us...they're happening right now, cradled in the palms of our hands. But that doesn't change the fact that the whiskey, weed, and romance eventually runs out and the night will soon turn to day.

I decided to masturbate with shampoo instead of conditioner today. Because yolo. Things Jesus never said.

...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable.