2,024 Quotes About Christmas

There comes that phase in life when, tired of losing, you decide to stop losing, then continue losing. Then you decide to really stop losing, and continue losing. The losing goes on and on so long you begin to watch with curiosity, wondering how low you can go.

So they told us all about how other kids were deceived by their parents, how the toys the grown-ups claimed were made by little elves wearing bell caps in their workshop at the North Pole actually had labels on them saying MADE IN JAPAN.

Life's not always a bed of noses. "We've been put on this earth to do good, and as long as you can put you hand on yer heart and say you've done yer best you can gan to yer rest with an easy conscience," was what me granny used to say. Before they dragged her off to the funny farm dressed as a Christmas turkey (it were the stuffing that gave the game away).

For this was Christmas, which had always been a time of magic, to him and to all the world.

Christmas teaches us to be loving, kind, giving, forgiving, and appreciating.

During Christmas, open your heart with love to appreciate the beauty of life and all the presents that you have received from the earth.

Pepe absently thought, happy beyond words that he was actually holding hands with Lucia. Passing a stall with a particularly pungent odor of manure made Pepe falter, realizing a barn wasn't the most romantic place to propose. Then he remembered the Savior born on this very night so long ago, and he figured if God could choose a stable for such an important miracle, he could too.

I don't like humans. Sure, they're good for an occasional fuck, but they aren't like reindeer. They may look like us when we're shifted, but that's the extent of it. If that makes me human-phobic, so be it. Some I've hooked up with wanted more than I was willing to give them. When I take off to the states for a holiday, it damn sure isn't to find someone to develop feelings for.

8. Santa Claus is concerned about the problem of Arctic ice. The ice is the spouse of the elves, and she is sick. She is the primary source of their magic, as the elves cannot be separated from the place where they live. For many years now, this is all they have asked for for Christmas: that the ice should come back