1,913 Quotes About College

My advice to writers just starting out? Don't use semi-colons! They are transvestite hermaphrodites, representing exactly nothing. All they do is suggest you might have gone to college.

some students look at the problems that they're facing and they draw global conclusions from them. They say this is not just a professor giving me a bad grade or someone not sitting next to me in the cafeteria. This reflects that fact that I am not ready for college, or I shouldn't be in this college at all.

High school and college students like to torture their bodies. They pull countless all-nighters, continually skip breakfast, eat nothing but ramen noodles for dinner, find creative new ways to guzzle alcohol, transform into couch potatoes, and gain 15 pounds at the freshman dinner buffet. At least, that's the stereotype.

They say you’re always at the place you need to be.But perhaps it’s not so that we go to stay, but see to leave.

She was as lovely sleeping as she was dripping in sensuality at the fundraiser

A girl in middle school once told me that a penis feels just like a tampon, only bigger. I’m not sure if it’s something her mom told her to shut her up, or if it’s somehow true. But as I’m staring at this man’s beautiful, bare naked form in front of me, I can tell you that I highly doubt it’s going to feel like a tampon when he’s inside me.

A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library.

I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here, relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does...

Months are different in college, especially freshman year. Too much happens. Every freshman month equals six regular months—they're like dog months.