1,680 Quotes About Comedy

. I looked around in shock as she jerked my arm around in an unsuccessful attempt to yank it off my hand. She obviously didn't know how much I bloated when I ate cheese. My lactose induced fat knuckle would not yield.I hate you. Marry Me!

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

He is tall, dark, and handsome in an understated way. Sports jacket and black jeans. Shiny belt buckle. I am a voyeur, he is my guilty pleasure. Twinkle, twinkle lots of stars when he catches me watching him, our eyes lock in unison, a blush climbs my cheeks. He looks right through me. I feel champagne bubbles in my stomach even though tequila is lacing my veins.

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.

As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.

I'll do that tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and it's still today. Tomorrow is a relative term. Makes Annie a lot more depressing

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

We needed a refrigerator for our new place and I've never bought a refrigerator my whole life. I went into the appliance store, there's like 900 of 'em lined up, there's a salesman there. What's this guy supposed to say about refrigerators? "Well you got this refrigerator here, This keeps all your food cold for 600...You've got this refrigerator, This keeps all your food cold for 800...Check this out, 1400, keeps all your food cold.

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose."Where?"In the 'word-memory' section," he said, epexegetically.