1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Being less discriminative shouldn't mean protecting nasty people, then discriminating against the innocent

They’re not pro-life. You know what they are? They’re anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don’t like them. They don’t like women. They believe a woman’s primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state.

DEATH. . .And now you are here to fight for this woman.You know her promise is given.She has to die or her husband won't go free.APOLLORelax, I'm not breaking any laws.DEATHWhy the bow, if you're breaking no laws?APOLLOI always carry a bow, it's my trademark.

Dostoyevsky described hell as perhaps nothing more than a room with a chair in it. This room has several chairs. A young man sits in one.

Few people actually read. Instead, everyone likes pretending they read. If we spent as much time reading as we say we do, we'd be grossly overweight and depressed.

Your boss loves your ideas ... it's you he doesn't care about.

Meeting a vampire is kind of like a celebrity sighting, but where the celebrity possibly wants to kill you.

Never let other people bring you down let Jesus be the one who brings you down, because he knows what he is doing

I don’t think being a comedian gives you any fucking insight into what makes people laugh.