381 Quotes About Dark-humor

I get diarrhea more often than the average Muslim.

I don't mind it so much when they're fully dead, you understand. Something that's supposed to be dead, and is dead, that's no surprise but there's something about a creature that GOING to be dead but isn't yet, something that KNOWS it's going to be dead and doesn't want to be. I've never liked that.

Justin vomited in his mouth a little as he gazed upon a sea of black outfits and sidelocks. They looked like they were ready for a heavy metal concert, a funeral, or the hell that is a Brit Milah. Fuck, they looked ridiculous.

Stuey was in heaven, but he wished that he were in hell.

If only the morbidly religious cared more about real atrocities, like war, poverty, and sports.

At noon a huge crowd of retarded people came to visit Santa and passed me on my little island. These people were profoundly retarded. They were rolling their eyes and wagging their tongues and staggering toward Santa. It was a large group of retarded people and after watching them for a few minutes I could not begin to guess where the retarded people ended and the regular New Yorkers began.Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Justin reached past a pot of matzoh soup for some brisket. The brisket was drier than Rachel's pussy. At least there was pomegranate juice to wash it down. Fuck, he hated this food.

Wherever did they find you?""At the junction of hard luck and bad times," I answer. It's something that my momma says.

A flat screen television lowered into view. It showed an animated Islamic documentary that focused mostly on the importance of wearing the proper attire. The final prophet was quoted often, yet absent from the feature.“If this Mohammed guy is so great, why wouldn’t they put him in the cartoon?” Kira wondered.