381 Quotes About Dark-humor

Near misses are where you're nearly killed, near missus are where you're nearly married - some would argue they're the same thing.

Today I was fisted by the sunIt's funny how Morning comesand you're just supposed to give a shit.

However, for all his affection and loyalty towards the animal, the dog would soon be leaving him - they would both be present at a celebratory dinner when they reached the roof, he reflected with a touch of gallows-humour, but the poodle would be in the pot.

Why take hours to drown when you can do it in a minute? Death can be kind if you allow him to be – sometimes

Julius applied the brakes just in time. The corpse fell forward and hit its forehead on an iron handle.‘That would have been really painful if the circumstances had been a little different,’ said Allan. ‘There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead,’ said Julius.

Norma: “...We’ll kill Silena?”Smar: “...She’s in superposition anyway.”Angie: “And in supoorposition.”Norma: “I’m not following.”Smar: “Me, Quantum Mechanics.”Angie: “Me, Dumbum Mechanics.

I ain’t nobody’s sidekick.I AM Batman And Robin, minus the mask, plus the vagina.

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.

I can't get his bonesto go down the fucking drain.I try to stuff the tiny holes,too tiny for this pain.I can't get his bonesto break any way for my gain.Break them back a little too far,never too far for the sake of sane.