1,141 Quotes About Doctors

The patient typically finds himself impelled by some deep, inner conviction that something is true, or right, or virtuous: a conviction that doesn't seem to owe anything to evidence or reason, but which, nevertheless, he feels as totally compelling and convincing. We doctors refer to such a belief as 'faith'.

I said to my doctor, 'You gotta testme, there's something wrong with me that I would be behaving this way.'

I recently had double-bypass surgery. As they wheel you in, the doctor always gives you a last look. You know that look. That look of confidence to make you feel good. I always say to every doctor, If I don't make it, I'll never know it.

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"

What a doctor I've got - he's really mixed up. Last week, he grabbed my knee and told me to cough. Then hit me in the balls with a hammer.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.

I get no respect... I tell you, when I was born, the doctor smacked my mother