57 Quotes About Funny-as-hell

This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit." -Ty Henderson

We all have that one friend that walks into your home like its their home

She thinks you're stalking me.""Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is.

Oh, you're an expert in crazy people now?""A month with you and I feel I have a master's degree in the subject.

I don't have all day, guys. I have things to do. A nap I want to take this afternoon. There's a new movie out on Netflix I want to watch, and a goddamn coupon for a free Whopper Jr. that's calling my name.

Yeah, I got her,” Will confirms.“Who you got?” I ask.“You, drunk girl. Come on.” He turns to lead me toward the exit, and I start to follow him, but for some reason my feet don’t work very well.“Um, Will?”“Yeah?”“I lost my feet.”“What?” he laughs and pinches the bridge of his nose.“I can’t find my feet.”Why is everyone laughing at me? This is serious!

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?!

Get your filthy paws off my son, feet pue tan!" Cherise

This...this...thing?""A parsnip?" Jem suggested"A parsnip planted in satan's own garden," said Will. He glanced about. "I dont suppose there's a dog I could feed it to?""There dont seem to be any pets about," Jem-who loved animals, even the inglorious and ill-tempered Church-observed."Probably all poisened by parsnips," said Will.