57 Quotes About Funny-as-hell

If I feel the urge to burst into flames, I'll let you know. " Simon never had much patience with Jace. "Look, did you ask me to come all the way uptown just so you could stare at me like I was something in a petri dish? Next time I'll send you a photo. " "And I'll frame it and put it on my nightstand, " said Jace sarcastically.

Don't look pleased with yourself. When Will says 'enterprising, ' he means 'morally deficient. '" "No, I mean enterprising, " said Will. "When I mean morally deficient, I say, 'Now, that's something I would have done.

There once was a man who was sore'Cuz his wife wouldn't open the door.Celibacy is just not for meLet me in, you cock-teasing whore.

You talked to your mother about Duncan's erectile dysfunction?" He glared down at her. "Has he considered taking your TV away?

Miranda: You say you were my guardian angel. Does that mean you watched me all the time? Like when I got my period or doctored a zit or took a shower or-Zachary: I'm an angel, not a Peeping Tom.

Here. There. Everywhere." He leered at his friend. "Thinking about you and Moira'sunderwear.

My favorite part of dreams. Clothing is optionable." V'Aidan

To be fair he is Lord Byron," Jane said. "I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another." -- Jane Fairfax

So, slim who is this designer asshole?" Falcyn"That's Mr. Asshole to you Dragon.