286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

Selective hearing...typical male. Maybe he was human after all...

I hate watching people blow all operational security, and spew their guts like a teenage burglar, drunk in a bar. We're professionals, for Christ's sake, and she's just a prole.

Boys do suck the brains out of smart girls.

I don't want to hear what anyone has to say about my life. Living it is hard enough.

Life gave me lemons ?? then I met you and you had Vodka ??. Now my life is a party ??

Sometimes writing is like talking to a stranger who's exactly like yourself in every possible way, only to realize that this stranger is as boring as shit.

He started to look back, but he knew better. That fool always got eaten in the movies. And Nick didn't want to be on anyone's menu.

I get the feeling humanity would be thrilled to discover life on another planet. So why not rediscover it here and really cherish it.

All good things...must come to a beginning. What goes up...may just go higher. Anything that can go wrong...probably won't if you immerse within it.