289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.

You mustn't let men drive you to mangling the English language, no matter how sweet they are.

Mr. False! No, don't start grabbing the chickens! Better off farmer with no chickens than a load of chickens with no farmer! Anyway, they'll probably float, or fly, or something!

During these mad dashes to the wall phone in the kitchen she hadn't time to fall but with fantastical grace and dexterity wrenched herself upright in midfall and continued running (dogs whimpering, yapping hysterically in her wake, cats scattering wide-eyed and plume-tailed) before the telephone ceased it's querulous ringing--though frequently she was greeted with nothing more than a derisive dial tone, in any case.

I didn’t do it. It wasn’t me.

I understood it-until you tried to explain it.

Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?

Nona had been bonkers since I could remember. Dad said it was menopause, but I had looked that up once, and I highly doubted that was the case.

You're a goose-down parka and a pair of mittens away from Narnia