289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Frankly, the only good people who I know are dogs.

Let us be absolutely truthful for once in our life. We human beings are basically assholes. As time goes by, some of us become a little better - a rascal. But most of us live and die as we were, and are. Plain-simply, assholes.

Are there days when you find life terribly confusing?Only when I have a girlfriend.

My imaginary pal up there, Mr. NOT, tells me it's my dog-damn ism to kick your illusory he-man's ass. Now, what do you say to that?

Oh no?" he sneered, pulling a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lighting one up. "Knowing what you're like, the slightest sign of a discarded cigarette butt and you would've been crawling around on your hands and knees trying to figure out how tall the smoker was, how old he was, what zodiac sign he was, whether he'd taken a crap that morning, and Christ knows what else.

I am in one of those moods where i just want to throw a book at someone's faceand be like: " I FACEBOOKED YOU.

Remember, you are as dispensable as the most indispensable king of kings, the mighty lord of silly worldly men.

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.