289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Mom lies down next to me and we both stare at the ceiling in complete silence. “Boys are like candy,” she suddenly says. I grin. “Really, Mom? That’s your advice? Boys are like candy. What is that? Forrest Gump on teens?

Wait. Like an art museum, or are we talking a history museum? I could tolerate the dinosaur bones and war relics, but modern art will just give me a headache. A red dot on a white canvas isn’t ‘a representation of a woman’s struggle in a male dominated society;’ it’s a red freakin’ circle!” Michael and Ryan nodded their heads in agreement with Jack’s artistic tirade.

Face Book keeps asking me to complete my relationship status; I doubt it has the soul of a gossip magazine column's starving journalist.

Somebody pinch me."A man with a horrendously hairy chest and a Speedo so tight it was probably cutting off circulation passed by me at that moment, and did just that. I yelped and held a hand to my ass, gawking at his retreating back.Jenny laughed. "Maybe this place is magic, and whatever we say comes true. Ryan Gosling, please!

Basilard, can you cover our trail?” Basilard rubbed his head dubiously. Maldynado, Books, and Akstyr leave trail like marching army.

How's your head?" the larger man asked."Do me a favor and cut it off," Black muttered. "It's more pain than it's worth rightnow.

The grass is always greener when it's covered in money.

Torn clothes are funny … until your dad gets fired.

He's got the kind of body that could turn a nun into a whore.